Thinking means using your mind to contemplate something. The more information and experiences you gather, the larger the database you have to access records from the past, categorize and judge. No matter how full the thinking mind is, it’s still biased because of its limited point of view. Awareness, on the other hand, is pure consciousness. undiluted by the subjective point of view that sees everything in relation to itself. It’s the spaciousness from which everything arises. You can access it when agitated or anxious. Sit still, focus on your breath and…
Sink into it.
Jarl and Steve P.S. – Please check out our new weekly addition:
If you have questions or comments related to any of our posts (or even on a general topic), we’d love to hear from you! We’ll be choosing a question each Tuesday to discuss along with our Daily Insight that day. To communicate with us, reply to any daily message. Please let us know if you’d like to remain anonymous.
Question and Answer Tuesday with Jarl:
Question about Daily Insight: Do What You Want!
Though usually well meaning, parents, siblings, friends and spouses who try to control their loved ones are bound to harvest the bitter fruit of inevitable resentment. While living in a diverse world might require more adjustment and accommodation, trying to satisfy others or struggling to get them to conform to your standards is a battle with no victors. Doing what you love, living life your own way and allowing others to do the same makes everyone…
A whole lot happier.
Question regarding: Do what You Want
Dear GTSF
If I am sure that what they are doing is completely unworthy of their time, creating suffering for others and themselves, how will I make them realize without advising, without making them feel they are controlled, without making them feel I am trying to change them, without making them think I don’t like the way the are? How will I effect changes without resistance? Signed S.
Dear S,
Thank you for your question. It’s not really possible for any of us to know if what someone else is doing is unworthy of their time. That is a judgment made through the lens of our own conditioning, level of understanding and state of evolution. Because we’re all at different levels and states of awareness, we obviously require different types of experiences for our own evolution. Everyone involved may be getting exactly what they need, even when it doesn’t seem like it to us.
When something someone else does causes me suffering, I look within and sincerely examine the nature and cause of my suffering. I usually find that it has little to do with their actions and more to do with the way I am seeing and interpreting it. Everyone sees the world differently, if only by a small measure.
In this case, you wouldn’t be able to convince them that you don’t like the way they are because, in truth, you don’t. And since you actually do want them to change, they’d pick up on that.
When faced with this type of situation, I try to accept what’s happening and look for anything I can find that might be perfect with things just as they are. When I do, I can almost always find it. Reality doesn’t make mistakes, it just looks like it sometimes from my limited view. Accepting what is and trusting that it’s this way for a reason opens my eyes to a bigger picture and brings me peace and relief. Thinking that life is doing it wrong keeps me fighting in perpetual resistance and it’s futile. What’s done is already done and always about to transform into something else. When I look for what’s right, the upcoming changes are likely to suit my preferences because I’m already looking in that direction.
Love and light,
Jarl
…sorry mam???? to refer you as ‘sir’.but it was not a gender discernment rather the respect for the state of evolution your consciousness has elevated..???? flattering ????????
Thank you, no offense taken. Humorously, I’m in the same position of not knowing if you are male or female. 🙂
I understand the context sir..
Thank you..
Please consider this context sir
#)a husband abusing wife in his home.neighbours could hear the cries out loud.
#)a man spitting on the public road,urinating and excreating on the road
#)I see my friend using highly dangerous pesticides on the vegetables meant for the public use
#)I see a man abusing sexually a woman on a public transport
#)I see one if my students selling pot on the campus premises
#)I see the nude pictures of colleagues are being sent online without their knowledge
These instances have an impact on a wider population rather than the particular individual who does the act.
I understand that your insight is regarding the context in which the karma is faced by the individual alone.in that case we have no right to have a say in his life.his life is his creation.
But the latter cases the consequences are faced by other than the one who initiates the bad karma.there I think i should act.
By love,by power,by aggression,by force
Do you agree?
#)a husband abusing wife in his home.neighbours could hear the cries out loud. Of course, I would call the police.
#)a man spitting on the public road,urinating and excreating on the road Good luck trying to control that!
#)I see my friend using highly dangerous pesticides on the vegetables meant for the public use I’d have a conversation with him and ask him if he understands the toxicity of the pesticides.
#)I see a man abusing sexually a woman on a public transport I’d speak up and ask her how she feels about that unless he looks like he’d turn on me and if that was the case, I’d call the police.
#)I see one if my students selling pot on the campus premises I’d call my student in and have a talk with him about the consequences if caught.
#)I see the nude pictures of colleagues are being sent online without their knowledge I’d tell my friend about it and let them handle it.
These instances have an impact on a wider population rather than the particular individual who does the act.
Yes, I agree that there are certainly instances where I would step in. I’ve done it. The post that generated your questions if meant generally about trying to control the outside world. It’s really too big a job and we can’t know for sure why anything happens the way it does, but if I see someone being hurt and I’m naturally moved to help, I will to do. There are things that are our business and things that aren’t and it’s important to be able to discern what is our business and what is not. By the way, Our posts are written by Steve and me together, but I (Jarl) am the one who answers the questions and I’m a woman. (I’m saying this because you are referring to me as sir.) 🙂
It is a good thing that practicing conscious awareness when it’s easy makes it easier when it’s not.
That’s for sure, Larry. 😉
..many relationship will not falter if each one of us would know this deadly reality.
..the subjectivity of right and wrong.I am right.but you may not be wrong.please conduct your life in the best way you think is possible.but it would be worthy to think the consequences of the action you are going to take.if it adds to your suffering,its may not be worthwhile to do it..kindly avoid creating suffering..
That would be a good thing to say if you feel the other would be open to hearing it. 🙂
Dear friend
.thank you for posting the answer to the question asked for a wider world.
..i would love to need some more clarification regarding the same.hope you may respond.
..i agree I see the world differently from everyone else.based on the stage if evolution I am in I may sense somethings not doing worthwhile,hence I avoid it and try to make others avoid it.that trying creates the beautiful space I created for the people I love tend to be more distorted and it kind of becomes a hell for them even if my intentions were in high spirits.
Sir,if I see my friend getting doped,smoking marijuana,frequenting brothels,committing adultery,having unprotected sex let alone casualsex.what shall I do?
Should I look within to get me right?or should I stay passive while my friend is being demolished in the name of non-interference?should I stay silent accepting the karma created by him,thereby letting him lose to face the consequences of the karma?
Where is the line of balance?I don’t want to interfere. But I don’t want them to be ruined also..
Love
Sarath
Hi Sarath,
I would say that their karma is their karma and I don’t know if we should interfere with others karma. You can say something to your friend and express your concerns, but I imagine that your friend probably already knows that his behavior will reap consequences. “should I stay passive while my friend is being demolished in the name of non-interference?” He is being demolished in his own name, not because you aren’t interfering. Do you really think he will follow your advice if you give it to him? Probably not, and he will probably just feel judged and shamed and want to avoid you. On the other hand, if you really feel it is your duty to tell him, maybe you should. There are cases where I would offer my opinion if I felt the other would be receptive. Yesterdays post is just suggesting that it’s usually best to tend to our own life affairs, not try to control others because we can’t really know what’s best for them and trust that they are going through what they need to. It’s not a hard and fast rule.
Today’s Gratitude is a beautiful contrast. I have been working on this for a while and am delighted to see my progress. All my life I have worked on problem-solving by thinking, which has its place, But my cat knows more about being, because she doesn’t practice anything else!
Love, Larry
Love it! Cats are definitely enlightened little beings.