Our experiences are created by our reactions. If a car is careening toward us, swerving to avoid a head-on would be an intelligent reaction. We wouldn’t crash into them just to teach them a lesson. Martial arts teaches us that the simple act of turning or stepping aside to avoid the oncoming force of an opponent can spare us while they topple from their own momentum. The same wisdom is true for our emotional well-being. If someone is distressing us, the best thing we can do to disarm them and be loving to ourselves is…

Not engage.

Jarl and Steve