Defensiveness comes from a lack of self-acceptance. If someone has an issue about something we accept in ourselves, their judgments won’t sting or stick. However, if we’re constantly blaming and shaming ourselves internally, we’ll often hear the words of others as criticism, even when it’s not, and plummet straight into defense mode. If you notice yourself going over that edge, stop and go within. Find in your body the sensations that are driving you to protect what you don’t want to face. Tell yourself that you’re ready to acknowledge and feel it…

Then watch it heal.

Jarl and Steve