Though usually well meaning, parents, siblings, friends and spouses who try to control their loved ones are bound to harvest the bitter fruit of inevitable resentment. While living in a diverse world might require more adjustment and accommodation, trying to satisfy others or struggling to get them to conform to your standards is a battle with no victors. Doing what you love, living life your own way and allowing others to do the same makes everyone…
A whole lot happier.
Jarl and Steve
..first I would be dropping my need to feel that what I am doing is the only right thing.
..second look within and ask what is really causing me suffering
Their actions or my perception of it
….accept what is and trust that what is it now is for a reason and you will find it when you try to see the bigger picture
…looking for what s right ,forthcoming changes are more to be my liking
…thank you sir
..love
Dear
If I am sure that what they are doing is completely unworthy of their time,creating suffering for others and themselves..how will I make them realise without advising,without making them feel they are controlled,without making them feel I am trying to change them,without making them think I don’t like the way the are.how will I effect changes without resistance?
Dear Sarath, Thank you for your question. I’ll try to answer as best I can. It’s not really possible for any of us to know that what someone else is doing is unworthy of their time. That is a judgment made through the lens of our own conditioning, level of understanding and state of evolution. At different states and levels, we as individuals obviously require different types of experiences for our particular evolution of consciousness. Everyone involved may be getting exactly what they need, it just doesn’t seem like it to us. If what they are doing is causing me to suffer, I look within and sincerely examine the nature and cause of my suffering. I usually find that it has little to do with their actions and more to do with the way I am seeing it. (everyone sees differently, if even just a little.) In this case, you wouldn’t, in fact, not be able to make them think that you don’t like the way they are, because the truth is, you don’t. And you do want them to change. So that’s what they would feel. In this case, I would try accepting and looking for what could possibly be right with the situation. When I do, I always find it. Reality doesn’t make mistakes, it just looks like it from our limited and narrow view. Accepting what is and trusting that it is this way for a reason brings me peace and opens my eyes to a bigger picture. It’s very relieving. Fighting with reality and thinking life is doing it wrong is futile. What’s done is already done and momentarily changing into something new. When I look for what’s right, the forthcoming changes are almost always more to my liking because I’m already looking in that direction.
Love and light, Jarl